Jokes from my mother

1. ” Don’t be sad,” says Finkelstein on his deathbed. ” I’ve had 80 good years.”
” But you’re 98!” says his wife.
” I know.”
2. ” Oy,” says Sophie.
“Oy Vey,” says Esther.
“Oy veyizmir.” says Sadie
” I thought we weren’t going to talk about the children,” says Mildred.
3. G-d agrees to grant Hyman a wish, with the condition that whatever he asks for,
his brother-in-law will get double.
” Okay,” Hyman says, ” I wish I were half-dead.”
4. Klein brags to Cohen about his new hearing aid:It’s the best one made-
I now understand everything!”
” What kind is it?” Cohen asks.
” 3:15.”
5. What does a Jew hope people will say about him at his funeral?
” Look! He’s moving !”

Posted on November 15, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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